I felt a bit behind, so I just logged my last 2 workouts in my BelieveIAm training journal. And realized I've got roughly 48 hours until "go time." And it makes me want to pee my pants.
Most people have asked if I feel ready, if I'm okay mentally (from the marathon DNF). I've maintained my calm; last night, I was more worried that I didn't feel worried at all. Last night, I thought this was no big deal. Last night, I was still chasing 2:15:00 in my heart, even though my rational brain knows that probably won't happen.
Now, I want to pee my pants. My legs are shaking. My stomach is nervous. Holy crapballs, I'm running a half marathon on Sunday. How in the hell am I going to do that? Are my legs going to hold? Is my IT band going to behave itself? What if I'm so afraid of failure that I can't even think about what I'll be doing Sunday morning? Is my cavalier attitude about all of this just a form of protection, like when I compartmentalize my brain while flying (I hate to fly)?
I think I'm going to be sick.