Be. Better.

That was my mantra Monday morning. I set my alarm for 0435 with the intention of hitting the treadmill before going to work. The alarm went off as scheduled but I did not get out of bed. I rolled over & pulled the covers back over my head. It was an epic failure & I was disappointed in myself all day because of it. And did I try to recover at the end of my day? Nope. I spent the entire day feeling sorry for myself instead of being better.

This morning, my alarm went off at 0435. Again. And again, I turned it off & proceeded to roll back over. I contemplated not getting up... & almost talked myself out of it. But something snapped & my brain screamed at me: BE BETTER! I violently threw myself out of bed (I slipped & almost fell), shoved my contacts in my eyes, yanked my retainer out without brushing my teeth, suited up in a new cute outfit (unintentional; it was set out from days ago & I never used it), & jumped on the treadmill.

It was later than I wanted to start, but I figured it didn't matter how many miles I logged so long as I logged them at all. I figured I could get in 2 miles; less than my usual run, but the achievement was waking up & getting it done. And as always happens, the first mile blew by & I decided to stick it out for my usual 3 miler.

And the best part of my morning? Getting to put a dollar in my "Fitness Fund" jar. This year, I'm saving a dollar/euro for every workout I do. And if I ski 20 miles in a day, I get a shiny $5. I also write the day down on the jar, the goal being to have the jar completely written on by the end of the year. It was super-satisfying to put that dollar in my jar this morning!


And now the rest of my day is set. I already feel better knowing I don't have this hanging over my head for later. I am pleased with myself because I fought the duvet & won the battle. What does winning the war look like? Doing this all week. And now that I've done it once, I know I can do it again... so long as I don't worry about straightening my hair before work.

Ringing in a new year....

100% honesty: December 2012 sucked.

After I came back from London, I skied once. Then I got really sick for about 2.5 weeks & could barely walk up the stairs without hacking my lungs up. Then I skied again... then I got food poisoning. Then my iPhone died. You see the horrible pattern here? When December 31st rolled around, you couldn't have seen a happier human being than myself... because I wanted the month to end. Desperately.

2013 got off to a great start. I came home from a party & decided to plug my iPhone in (around 1:30 AM), just to see if it would work. And miraculously, my iPhone was resurrected! My power button broke a long time ago & I've been too cheap to have it fixed. But that becomes a problem when your software crashes & you need to do a hard reset... but you can't because the power button is broken. By letting the battery completely drain, I forced a hard reset. Not on purpose, obviously. I thought it needed a funeral. I even bought a new phone; not a new iPhone, but a cheapy Android-based Samsung smartphone. But now that I've seen Proof-of-Life in my iPhone, I'm going to finally take it for service. New screen, power button, & possibly even battery. I'll have a practically brand-new device! And in the meantime, I've got a serviceable smartphone replacement. It's never a bad thing to have a back up cell phone.

I'm looking forward to a year of [possible] big changes & big plans. I'm just like everyone else; I came up with resolutions/goals for 2013... & took the process so seriously that I wrote them on a Post-It note. Hear the sarcasm? Yeah, that's because my resolutions/goals haven't changed much from last year. That's kinda disappointing, really. I hope to do better this year. And after A Long December of non-existent fitness, I'm looking forward to getting back on track, doing the right thing, & continuing to size down.

Let's hear it for a healthy, fit, & happy 2013!

Thinking Deep Thoughts...

I started this blog as a way to write about my running experiences while training for, & completing, a full marathon. I started with the idea that I'd run Edinburgh, but my husband couldn't get the time off for the travel. I tried the Venice Marathon & famously DNF'd it at 16.5 miles. Since then, I've had a few successful smaller 5ks & 10ks, plus 2 half marathons with a third on the way.

I don't know what to do next.

I want to run a full marathon. I feel like I need to get back on that horse & ride it into the sunset. But if I'm entirely honest, I'm really lazy about running right now. I find it incredibly difficult to get out in the cold & log any miles whatsoever. I've even started running during my lunch break just to make sure I keep the legs moving. I finally started running with Penny; we're up to 2 miles together. I even bought her a new leash to make it easier for both of us. But while I really want to do the marathon, I keep struggling with the time it takes to train for the marathon. And I can't deny there's a little fear involved for me. I don't ever want to be hurt again like I was hurt.

There are no shortcuts to the marathon. In the words of Yoda, "You must complete the training!" I think I'm in much better shape now. I'm a fitter, leaner version of myself. Running isn't nearly as painful (mentally & physically) as it used to be. So I guess the only thing really holding me back is my fear. Fear of failing at this huge endeavor all over again. I have no idea how to deal with that in my head. And I feel like the more I push this into the future, the less likely it is that I'll commit & complete the full marathon distance.

I have this feeling it's poop-or-get-off-the-pot time & I don't know what to do. Yes, it's entirely self-imposed... I get that. But it's a strong feeling nonetheless.

Another clean week down!

I'm a bit late posting this, but better late than never. Another week of clean eating & another update.

Last week was a fairly decent week. I took Penny out for our first mile together. She's going to be a great runner, but she's really nervous of everything around her. It made the mile a little bit challenging... & I also figured out I need a much better leash for her to make it easier to hold onto her while we're running together.

Blurry: Penny licking my face

Just one mile? No way! But it was very dark & I didn't want to be out by myself. So I popped onto the treadmill for 3 more miles. I left my warm clothes on; it was a bit warm but I made it through. And I'm wearing my new favorite shirt: Road Runner's Softy Wool Long Sleeve running shirt. I can't express how much I love this shirt. It's soft and cozy and has thumb holes. How can  you go wrong? I wish they sold more than just two colors, though. I'd wear them ALL THE TIME just "because."

In my new favorite running shirt.

After 4 miles of running, I was hungry. I finally perfected my Pumpkin Protein Smoothie. One of my favorite ways to serve this up is in a big fattie Austrian beer glass. My husband got this for me December 2011 while we were in SkiWelt. I loved Stiegl Weisse beer, so we stopped at a grocer to buy some on the way home. He's so crafty; he bought a beer gift set, which included this awesome glass. But now that I don't consume adult beverages, it's just been sitting in my cabinet... until now. Now it's my protein shake receptacle.

Here's how I make this: 1 scoop vanilla protein power, 1/3 cup canned pumpkin puree, 1/2 to a full cup of almond milk (based on creamy preference), 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, & cinammon & pumpkin pie spice to taste. Add Ice & blend. Depending on how much almond milk & ice you prefer, the larger the glass you will need. When I'm making the full amount, I bust out this glass.

Pumpkin Protein Shake of Awesome.

I took advantage of my Monday off & went on another shopping trip. Weight loss is great, but it had meant a lot of shopping to reboot my entire wardrobe...right down to my underclothes. And that's an expensive undertaking.. & it takes a lot of time. So I take advantage of all my extra time and money to buy new clothes.


New clothes FTW.

And after all that, it was weigh-in time. I wasn't expecting too much, but I was surprised that I'd lost another pound! It amazed me because I upped my daily caloric intake during the week to counterbalance the lunch time running.

Clean eating results

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, the official end of my clean eating streak. I've been about 90% successful in my streak. I count that as success because it helped to keep my weekends honest. I also discovered new mealsl & new favorite times-of-day to do my grocery shopping. I figured out that running during lunch = easy way to log miles. I even invented my own protein shakes. I think it's been a successful streak for me. This is a way of life for me, but this was a productive exercise in learning new recipes & ways to make the clean eating lifestyle fit for me.

Clean Eating: 2 weeks later

I resolved to go on a clean eating streak from my birthday (October 29th) to Thanksgiving. My thoughts on clean eating are this: it's super easy to do... but it means really cooking food. Not food out of boxes, by the way. All fresh ingredients. If you're doing it for every single meal, it can be fairly time consuming. If you're me, then you find ways to cheat. How? Become intimately acquainted with your crock pot!

I frequent The Gracious Pantry web site, which is where I got this recipe. I'm starting branch out from there. For example, did you know there's a Clean Eating Magazine? My friend bought me an issue for my birthday & it looks like the Nov/Dec issue focuses on slow cooker/crock pot recipes. Yes, I'm picking that one up; I might even buy a subscription!

Pumpkin & Black Bean Chili w/Ground Turkey

This recipe make 4-freaking-quarts of chili. I've had chili all week and gave some away. That's my favorite thing about crock pot recipes: there's left overs to last all week. So you can eat clean without trying to hard.
Eating clean does not mean crossing desserts off the menu. It just means eating the right type of dessert as a treat. I was at a friend's house for dinner; she knows I'm on a clean eating streak, so she made baked apples with an oatmeal cinnamon raisin topping.


My first-ever baked apple!


Wow... it was yummy! I wanted to take the topping off, mix some protein powder into it, & make homemade protein bars. It was seriously delicious. And it doesn't hurt to have supportive friends who #1. like to cook, & #2. are willing to try new recipes so you can be included in the Sunday evening get-togethers.

I was feeling super good. Evidence? I finally wore a dress that I bought & left sitting in my closet for about 2 months. There's no real reason I left it sitting; I forgot about it for awhile, then we had a cold streak & it was a bit too chilly to wear it.


Party Rock at Work? Why not?


New dress, shoes... everything. And it felt great. I got a ton of compliments from everyone who saw me & saw this picture. I know we're not supposed to look to others for validation... that we all need to find self-satisfaction & all that self-esteem crap, but it definitely feels good when others compliment you after working really hard to achieve fitness goals.

Yesterday, my friend Lisa stopped by my office. She ordered a birthday present for me that did not arrive in time... but who cares about time when it's THIS EPIC??!!!

Size increased for epic-ness

ZOMG! I can't even express how much I love this shirt. It's perfect... there's really not much else to say. I have to say I'm incredibly grateful for my friends here in Italy. They're incredibly supportive, they encourage me & don't sabotage me. It's awesome.

Now it's Friday. It's official weigh-in day, as promised. I want to document how a focus on clean eating is affecting my body. And here are the results:

Whoa...

I was expecting a bit of weight loss, but this is pretty dramatic based on my expectation. I'm sure the addition of running during lunch (more on that later) helps to burn those calories, but this is pretty incredible. And I don't remember the last time I've ever weighed under 135 lbs. Clean eating works!

There you have it: 2 weeks of clean eating in the can. Approx. 1.5 weeks to go. It's a great lifestyle choice & my body feels so much better. Tons of healthy energy. And to answer a burning question: NO! I did not give up my coffee. I will not give up my only vice.  ;)