I started this blog as a way to write about my running experiences while training for, & completing, a full marathon. I started with the idea that I'd run Edinburgh, but my husband couldn't get the time off for the travel. I tried the Venice Marathon & famously DNF'd it at 16.5 miles. Since then, I've had a few successful smaller 5ks & 10ks, plus 2 half marathons with a third on the way.
I don't know what to do next.
I want to run a full marathon. I feel like I need to get back on that horse & ride it into the sunset. But if I'm entirely honest, I'm really lazy about running right now. I find it incredibly difficult to get out in the cold & log any miles whatsoever. I've even started running during my lunch break just to make sure I keep the legs moving. I finally started running with Penny; we're up to 2 miles together. I even bought her a new leash to make it easier for both of us. But while I really want to do the marathon, I keep struggling with the time it takes to train for the marathon. And I can't deny there's a little fear involved for me. I don't ever want to be hurt again like I was hurt.
There are no shortcuts to the marathon. In the words of Yoda, "You must complete the training!" I think I'm in much better shape now. I'm a fitter, leaner version of myself. Running isn't nearly as painful (mentally & physically) as it used to be. So I guess the only thing really holding me back is my fear. Fear of failing at this huge endeavor all over again. I have no idea how to deal with that in my head. And I feel like the more I push this into the future, the less likely it is that I'll commit & complete the full marathon distance.
I have this feeling it's poop-or-get-off-the-pot time & I don't know what to do. Yes, it's entirely self-imposed... I get that. But it's a strong feeling nonetheless.